No, I didn’t just turn 30. I’m turning into a freaking dieting yo-yo. I’ve lost 30 pounds and gained 30 pounds at least 30 times over the last 30 years. What the bleep is the problem? I’m fat, then skinny; fat, then skinny; and fat, then skinny over and over again. I end up regaining the same disgusting 30 pounds, and of course at a much faster pace than it took to lose the pounds. Why can’t I keep these 30 pounds of blubber off? I’m not depressed. I’m not stressed. Come to think of it I’m a pretty happy lady. So, am I doomed to vacillate between plus 30 pounds and negative 30 pounds for the next 30 years too?
I lose the weight easily. I stick to a diet no matter the restrictions. Keeping it off is the conundrum. I can’t pretend I don’t know the culprit — it’s right before my eyes. The second — or is it 30 seconds – I step on the scale and see I’ve reached my goal weight, it’s like I’ve hit the chow-down lottery. I’m back to Glutton-ville — downing pints of Häagen Dazs, popping almonds and pecans, and eating fine dark chocolate like it’s my last day on Earth. And what happens — 30 days later the weight starts creeping up full speed ahead. And I have the audacity to be surprised as the lever on the scale is moved toward the 30-pound gain mark.
So here I am today on another diet to lose 30 pounds. And as usual, I’ll swear for the 30th time that I won’t regain a new 30 pounds.